My automatic reaction in these situations is to say, "honey move please, there are people who need to walk through". It never seemed to meet my goal of causing connection between us or with others.
Then I saw an opportunity.
A man walked up behind her. He smiled and waited. She didn't know he was there and she didn't move. He looked at me. I smiled and said, "If you ask her, she'll move".
It was a moment of simple connectedness. Me to him, him to Gerren. And what I didn't see until later is the connection that Gerren gets, the relationship to herself that builds, as she has successful interactions.
It happens daily now. "How old is she?" "What's her name?" people ask.
Saying, "she'll tell you" makes them feel safe because I've given permission. When they talk to her, she gets to grow her self-esteem and communication skills. Judging from the smiles on their faces, they're getting some benefit too.
It's taken several trials for her to answer on her own. And sometimes she still refuses to answer. When that happens, I answer the question. The unsaid message is, it's ok to talk with people AND you don't have to talk to anyone.
