2017 Perception

I bundled up for the frigid 6am walk.  After having seen horrific images of murdered children and adults in Syria and waking to thoughts of a loved one murdered in the past year, I set out to walk alone, in the dark for an hour.  Walking through the garage I felt the contraction of fearful thoughts & waivered, "maybe today I'll stay home".   Then I heard my friend Jimmy in my head.  He was singing, "Light I am"...a statement that moved me to thoughts of "I love people", "my Light will shift any intent to harm", "there is no harm, these are automatic thoughts in response to a loss and seeing those pictures".   My step quickened.  I became present & felt the sting of the biting wind on my face.  And I got to navigate icy streets.

Most of the ice had melted from the roadways....and on the steepest inclines shaded by trees the road was like a bobsled track.  In the quiet, my steps made sounds that sounded like thunder to me.  Ice had formed in the shape of tire tread.  Great traction.  Thunderous sound.   I felt shock sensations as reactions to fearful thoughts.  Thoughts of waking someone in the quiet neighborhood and upsetting them.  I noticed the thought and let it go.

I reached my destination....a high point looking out over a city.  Lights twinkled below as if cheering the success of my trek.  Going down the slippery slope, I faced the fear of falling and discovered a way to move that nurtured my knees and lower body as I walked.  And this new way would come in handy on any surface...slippery or not.

Returning home popsicle-esque and happy, I zipped up the stairs to my apartment and sat quietly in the power of all that had been discovered and accomplished in the walk.

This year I will interupt perceptions that cause me to apologize unconsciously, be nice to others in a  way that sacrifices myself, live in limitation, view myself as a poor communicator, be responsible for others actions, over-explain, and experience overwhelm.  It's already an amazing year.